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Stepping On Suicide

March 16, 2012

Hi.  First I started this blog as a tribute to a family member who took her own life, following several years in AA, but was at a loss of what to discuss in particular.  I knew of other AA members who suffered the same fate and thought having a blog would be a good idea.  However, I shortly found out, in a frustrating effort to create new post ideas or answer commentary, that not much can be explained in generalities about the phenomenon, as every story is different.  I also preferred not to open up for comments in an attempt to sway people into what I believe as I am no expert, or to run the risk of creating merely a venue for debate.  Lastly, I feared the topic itself, as taboo as it is, might give way to unnecessary contemplation, and thus obscure my original, more benign intention to simply give notice of the very tragic fact that they occur within the organization.

I think it would be helpful only to mention that people probably don’t question why suicides, for instance, occur frequently under totalitarian regimes, or even in prisons for that matter.  I would simply like to spark, if only a little, curiosity as to why then would they occur in such a highly esteemed and appreciated organization as AA (I mean they give you coffee and coins for free!)?  I will not speak more about this, as there are other sites which have already very admirably and intelligently delved into the greater intricacies and inadequacies of AA.  And I know I would be breaking those pesky rules of logic if I were to contend that AA causes suicides, which is quite irritating for someone who was extensively involved and witnessed personally the untold human indecencies that, very cunningly, typically evade the attention of non-members and, unfortunately, unsuspecting ‘newcomers.’

With all this, it nevertheless remained important for me to raise some, if only a little, attention to the linguistic irony that abounds around AA, where a lot of tragedies do occur, though the organization continues to retain its legitimacy in promoting itself with such terms as ‘miraculous,’ ‘life-saving,’ ‘succesful,’ and generally still be taken seriously.  So, if only for my irritation with misleading usage of words, I chose to revive the project.  It is less ambitous and more experimental this time ’round:

If you have come across this, I just ask that you take the time to post any incidents from your tenure or familiarity with AA of fatal overdoses or suicides amongst members that you can recall.  Just a few details are necessary within a comment, nothing else please.  The ideal format is below:

Date of incident:

AA area # and district #:

**These two pieces data can be found, if you don’t remember exactly, typically with just a little hunting on google 🙂

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One Comment
  1. Brian Rudd suicide june 29, 2011 Yonkers , NY in and out of AA, many years of abstinence included, Iced out by members last time he went back. Was sexually preyed on by Gay community in White PLains area by members who considered themselves leaders/sponsors-know-it-alls.

    AA members should give advice about medication what so ever. AA members should not hit n newcomers for sex when they are sober for many years. This is using there position of power and its an abuse of that power. Vulnerable newcomers look up to them and think they are good people trying to live a spiritual path. What a joke. Brian didnt think it was a joke.

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